Looking for Peace at the Seashore

Yesterday, my mind swirled with all kind of thoughts and emotions...you know the kind that make you question everything.  Even though I don't make the mark often, I am still trying to be the change and not add negativety into our world, but some days seem to push you further than you expect; maybe it is a day when you had plans with someone and they decided to do something else with someone else (and you aren't included) or maybe it is an unexpected bit of news from work or family.  Those days really don't make you want to play nice or cooperate with anything or anyone.  They are draining and disappointing. 

So, to relieve the stress and not just sit at home alone, I got in my car and started driving.  Where?  I didn't know, I just went.  It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon and I let the roads lead me.  It isn't hard to figure out, though, like a magnet it took me through some areas I had never seen before and I ended up at the seashore.  Fortunately, it was a reasonably quiet spot of sand and I was able to just sit and watch the water come in, pray and think.  I have a lot to pray about....my family relations, my future, a job, etc. and I have a lot to be thankful for as well. 

This is a season of change for my family and now our little household is down to only 2 plus the 2 furbabies.  With that comes adjustment...not necessarily bad adjustment, just adjustment.  My greatest love has been to be a Mom and I am sad to see that season ending. Although, I will always be their Mom....it isn't the same.  I have 36 months before my baby flies and when you put it in those terms it almost overwhelms me.  My other children now live hours away and it is going to take some time to wrap my mind around what used to be and what is. I struggle because I don't know how to hold us together in this season.  I thought I had it all clear in my head and now I get to start over.  Oh, joy!