He will find me...

I saw the below piece on Facebook (where all good things come, right?) but it did get me to thinking about relationships and where I am right now.  I am not looking for someone.  Often people tell me, "Oh, you won't be single long." But, I am not sure.  Maybe I will be, maybe I won't.

Yes, I do get lonely but I  wonder how lonely my Grandmother must have been after her husband died at only 50 (she never dated or remarried.) Did she cry at night silently into her pillow when the loneliness got so heavy? Did she ever tear up just sitting and watching TV alone at night? I lived next door to her my whole life and I never wondered...how insensitive.  I wonder how lonely my Aunt Peggy must be at times when she misses my Uncle Kenneth, who died a few years ago after spending her entire life with him (they were Middle School sweet hearts.) The loneliness is the hardest because you do have to hide it from so many people and it strikes when you least expect it.

But, as I was walking the dog last night...alone; I started thinking about the piece from Facebook.  I knew then that if there was a "he" for me out there somewhere he will find me.  God will lead him to me.  He will find me.  It is actually a very scary proposition to sit back and let go and say he will find me.  See, I work a female dominated industry. Most men I come in to contact with are with their wives or there for something for their wives or girlfriends.  It is hard to resist the urge to go out looking for him but from what I have seen that doesn't pan out. It goes against human nature to not try to control the outcome but I am trying.

Below is that piece from Facebook and if anyone knows the author please share:

Subject: SELF WORTH (Very Deep!!!) In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: 'What kind of man are you looking for?' She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?' Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes.
 
She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?' The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.
 
She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy.
 
And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot. She replied, "I'm worth a lot".