Pruning...

New seasons of life can bring joy, excitement, love and then other new seasons can bring endings, pain and changes you never wanted.  I wish I could say I was in one of the joy, excitement and love seasons, but I am not.  I have been forced to take a new path. It is not a path I have ever wanted and tried to avoid it, but I am here and have to walk it alone.  It is scary and I kind of keep watching the skies for attacks from flying monkeys and am really wishing for some sparkly red pumps to make me feel better. 

I have spent literally days on my knees over the last few months begging, pleading and crying out to God and although He chose not to answer my prayers in the way that I wanted…He did answer them.  He is bigger than my problems.  He has opened my heart and my mind up and told me that He is “enough.”  He will be with me.  He will love me when I am unlovable by man’s standards.  He is enough.  Jesus is my all and all.

As a gardener, there are times that pruning is difficult and painful but necessary.  There have been times I have had to prune roses and tears came to my eyes not just from pricks from the thorns but because I hated to lose the growth and the current blooms.  I just hated it, even though I knew it was the only way for the plant to survive or I had no choice because it had grown in a uncontrollable, wayward direction.  It hurts, this pruning that is being done in my life and I have fought against it, but I am trusting in a Jesus that has a plan and His plans are greater than mine.  

He cuts of every branch in me that bears no fruit,

while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.

~John 15:2

So, I will ask for a prayer or two if you are so inclined, as I still get scared and it hurts a lot. I hope you will come along on my journey of loss, learning and healing and be patient if my writing seems glum at times.  I am determined not to get mired in the misery of bitterness and don’t want to miss another beautiful moment in life.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, 

so that Christ's power may rest on me.

 ~2 Corinthians 12:9